"My
Life Motto" as a project includes a series of interviews and confessions
from people who want to share their journey, their successes, their weaknesses,
their values as well as the threats they have encountered and their vision both
past and present.
It is addressed to those who are not afraid to get
vulnerable and show their ‘behind the scenes’ life and also to highlight a more
authentic, human side, not so flawless!
We are not talking about Life Style but pure Life because
it is very simply "That's Life"!
Today I have the pleasure of having my dear friend
and companion in personal development Tina Vaphiadis.
Tina
and I met a year ago on our Hopeaholics Volunteer and Solidarity Group. From
the first moment we had met I was impressed by the sweetness of her character
and her wonderful smile, along with her expressive blue eyes. Few months later I
discovered a wonderful human being, an exceptional woman, a warrior who today
through My Life Motto dares to send life messages!
It is also a great opportunity for My Life Motto
project to travel to readers outside Greece since Tina as a Lifestyle Coach
coordinates teams from abroad and coaches people who want to improve and grow
through Life Coaching worldwide.
Describe in a few words words your present situation and position
I am an inspired and motivated woman, Lifestyle Coach and Educator, proud mother of two who is starting the next chapter of my life.
How are you experiencing your current situation and what are your wants in all areas in your life?
I would say I am independent and hold myself accountable of my life and the decisions I have made. I am responsible for whatever I allow into my life and for my own actions and reactions.
I create my own environment meaning that if it doesn’t align with my values then I change my environment.
Professional life: I want to create a safe place for women to feel free to be heard and to voice their inner thoughts. My goal is to help women feel their beautiful energy and believe in their abilities to be the best version of themselves and to inspire them to have a voice.
Working with children is my biggest reward because it gives me the opportunity to plant the seed of mindfulness and self-development and to encourage them to thrive. I also receive so much love from them which inspires me to be the best version of myself.
Personal Life: First priority is to be happy with my inner self. Happiness can only come from inside of your own self-love. When you are aware that no one else can make you happy and that happiness is the result of your love then you are ready for a healthy relationship. I learned a lot through marriage and mostly about myself as a woman, as a partner and as a mother. I learned a lot about what I want, who I want to be and who I want to share my life with. I also discovered that you should not settle, no matter the consequences. Would I like to share my life with someone in the future? Definitely. If that person’s dreams, goals and values align with mine. I truly believe that the joy of love and companionship is a journey worth taking.
Motherhood: The greatest part of my life is being a mother.
This is a school in itself. I believe the roles of motherhood depend on the individual. This is something I respect whole heartedly. I have been a full time mom and loved every moment of it. When I decided to go back to work I realized the other side also provides so much for the relationship between mother and child. I am truly blessed. I have had the opportunity to live through so many experiences with my children. Our connection is something that has always inspired me and my greatest life lessons have been from listening to them. As I have taught them many things, they have in turn taught me so much as well. First and foremost I know what unconditional love means and how it feels also I know how hard it is to let go. Watching my children leave and go off to university on the other side of the world has been such a learning experience. You become acutely attuned to understanding that they are not your possessions. You absolutely need to show them that you believe in their abilities. They need to be told that it is ok to make mistakes, that you respect them, that you are proud of them and that they will always have your love. No matter what.
Friendship: I love the saying …’friends for a reason, friends for a season and friends for a lifetime’. I have been extremely fortunate in my life to have had all three. Each friend has added value to my life in their own special way. My friends for life have been with me through great times and some more difficult times where they saw me through. I will always be grateful and love them forever. Friendship is a special bond based on love and respect. True friendship is where you get to be your authentic self, where you can encourage and be encouraged, hold someone accountable and be held accountable.
Womanhood: In all areas of my life the role I have as a woman is key. Whether it is business, personal, as an entrepreneur, mom or friend my role as a woman and my feminine energy is what I bring to the table. I love being a role model and I love being a woman. Everything about us is magnificent. We offer love, compassion and empathy into everything we do. Our strength is resilient. I think the dynamics of a woman being strong, sensitive, sexy and sweet is a gift from God. Being a woman is being beautiful on every level.
Which Life Motto has accompanied you so far?
Be fearless in the search for what sets your soul on fire.
What opportunities did you take advantage of in the past that led to a positive outcome for you today?
Self-awareness, a window of opportunity when I knew things had to change. This guided me towards the path to wellness and personal development.
How did you make a successful change that you were either forced to or voluntarily decided to make?
Take charge of my life. To leave my marriage. Even though it was an unhappy one, the easy part would have been to settle and stay and of course to suffer. But I would not have been the only person suffering… my children would have also been part of an ever growing toxic environment. Leaving a marriage is never easy especially when there are circumstances that create more issues. I had to start over practically on my own. I say practically because I did have my children and they were a huge support system. I learned quickly that you are never alone …only if you chose to be. This was hard as this is where I had to force myself to ask for help. It takes a village to raise a child…another important life lesson and motto. I had to become the woman I was supposed to be and the proper role model for my children. I needed to take responsibility for our life and believe in my abilities to create a strong and healthy environment for us to thrive in. I used to say I started with nothing but I quickly changed that mindset as I got deeper into self-awareness. You never start with nothing. You always start with something…yourself! As long as you have your goal, your WHY, your passion and your thoughts you most definitely have something. A lot of hard work, patience, communication, compassion and sacrifice got me over many obstacles. One important thing to mention is kindness. I needed to be kind to myself and to forgive myself for my own mistakes and choices. In order for my new life to be successful I needed to first forgive myself for my old life.
Do you want to change something about yourself?
I would like to change
how I deal with asking for help. I think this a huge weakness of mine. I tend
to take on many responsibilities and try and do most things on my own. I rarely
ask for help and this does not serve me well. So I need to work on asking and
not being afraid or ashamed to admit that I may need some assistance.
Which part of yourself could perhaps stand in your way?
Stubbornness… especially if I feel threatened, I shut down very quickly and sometimes it is very difficult for someone to break down the wall. I have a very strong circle of trust. Once you step out of it, it is next to impossible to get back in.
What negative qualities might others see in you? and what weaknesses could you have that might be exploited by your external threats
I might dare to say too nice, too kind , too sensitive. I love deeply the people who are around me and I feel deeply. Some people can’t handle that and it makes them feel uncomfortable, other people may take advantage of this. I get hurt easily because I value loyalty in all my relationships so when that gets broken or someone treats me with lack of respect or doesn’t value our relationship –for example- uses it in order for personal gain –then this brings me tremendous discontent. This is my weak-vulnerable side. My Achilles’ tendon as you say.
How have you overcome the obstacles you’ve faced so far?
Persistence, strong will, patience, faith in God and in myself. I was consistent in taking things step by step but at the same time always have given myself compassion and grace whenever I have felt overwhelmed. I believe you always need to honor your obstacles and acknowledge it before you can overcome it.
What are your character strengths and
how have they helped you so far and/or in the future?
I love
people. I love making people smile and feel great about themselves. I believe am
a great listener…I love listening to people and in Coaching this is crucial. I
also believe that every person has something good in them. If I help them see their
inner greatness and that I believe in them and then they believe in themselves,
then I have done my purpose.
What skills can you use to achieve what you desire?
First you need to have desire and faith. Leadership, Compassion, Empathy, Problem Solving, Strategy building help you get there.
How much power do you possess?
Unlimited. Strength is energy and there is an abundance of energy. Strength comes from your inner self, your spirit and your faith. There is so much of it that it is endless.
Suppose during the night a miracle happens that solves your current
challenges. The next morning how are you going to start discovering that a
miracle probably happened?
I would wake up to a world where I could see my children any time I wanted to regardless of where we all are in this world. I could touch them and be with them face to face. People in general would be smiling and happier in the streets and so much kinder to each other.
There would be a world with no judgement.
How would you like to see yourself in a few years from today? What would you like to have achieved in the next phase of your life?
So many
things come to mind. So many things for myself – professional accomplishments,
adventures of discovering new places, people, cultures and ideas. Continuing to
grow and learn. Most importantly to be happy and proud of myself.
What is your ideal destination, what is your Ithaca?
I am
still looking for that. I know it somewhere but I haven’t found it…not
yet. Stay tuned.
Imagine having a conversation with the wisest person you know or can think of – who might this person be (if it comes to you as an image) and what would he/she advise you to do?
The wisest…would be GOD. He would advise me to be kinder to my inner child. To protect her and support her and to listen to her when she speaks.
How ready are you on a scale of 1-10 to commit yourself to action in order to reach your goal?
11 !! I always like to think outside of the box!
How do you feel at this very moment?
Happy…first
because this has been such a fun interview, I might say it is a great self-evaluation
and thank you for giving me the opportunity. In general I am happy. I feel at
peace. I am thrilled that my children are doing what they want and are safe,
healthy and happy individuals. What more
could I want as a mother? I am extremely blessed and grateful. I thank God
every day for this. I am proud of myself
and not shy to express. It has been a long and difficult road and now I am
here, in charge of my own life. I am healthy, working and meeting interesting
people as yourself. I am so blessed.
In closing, after this process of self-observation and review, do you still have the same Life Motto or has a new one come to you while thinking about what you confided to us?
The
same Life Motto…because I believe that as long as my soul is on fire I am
living life. You should never be afraid to live.
How did you experience the period of Quarantine and the Covid 19 crisis?
For me it was business
as usual since most of my work was on line.
But to be honest I embraced this time because it gave me the opportunity
to be at home with my daughter. Having a
teenager in her senior year is hard enough and having her full attention and
time is even harder which is normal since her attention should be with her
friends. This gave us the time to really bond and communicate on a totally
different level. I got to enjoy her presence and she got to really help me out
and teach me so many things. This was for me an incredible gift to have
especially since she would be leaving for university in a few months.
With the new condition of the coronavirus, did a new
Life Motto emerge in your life? if so which one?
Take
back your life….we have been
given very precious time to sit and think.
This is something that should be taken as a gift. We were able to
reevaluate, rethink, redo, get down deep into our inner self and spend time in
silence and stillness and listen to what we really want as well as appreciate
what we have. This is an opportunity to
get back on track. Take back our lives
that perhaps we were not living authentically. I know many things changed but I
believe this was a wakeup call and an intense lesson on adaptability.
So powerful Tina's
"motto of life". I hope they offered you inspiration and peace!
Thank you very much for participating in my
project My Life Motto!
Stella Zoulinaki
REPRODUCTION of the interview without reference to the blog as a source is PROHIBITED.
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